Happiness within us
by Thota Srinivas
Happiness….such a beautiful
feeling….It’s no wonder that we all crave for happiness. But does it mean the
same for all of us? Absolutely, ‘ No’…..We all have our own definition and
perception of happiness.
The definitions of no two people are
similar. Why do you think it happens? It happens because we have different
perspectives, different attitudes and different way of looking at things. Are
we aware of this? Do we accept this fact?
There is a lot of difference between
knowing something and accepting something. If you know something, you have the
knowledge of it and you are still open to getting affected by that; if you
accept something, besides having the knowledge of it, you have the power not to
let it affect you in any way.
For instance, you know about other
religions, their beliefs and traditions - you have the knowledge. If you accept
the fact that beliefs differ, you will not be shocked or disappointed to
realize that peoples’ beliefs are different from that of yours.
Another simple example can be - knowing
the fact that junk food is harmful but do we accept the fact? If we accept we
do not let ourselves become addicted to it.
So that clarifies the fact that
knowing something is different from accepting that thing.
Happiness does not always go with
comforts and having luxuries. And as a matter of fact it is not a feeling which
gets triggered or activated like jealousy or anger. It’s a state of mind. It’s
a stable state of mind. That stable state of mind we possess when nothing goes
wrong in our life -the peaceful state of mind.
The feeling we get when we have
something is pleasure. And pleasure is a source of happiness - a feeling that
maintains the stable state of mind.
If we have to accept this as true
happiness, we must know the factors that disturb the stable state of mind.
Let’s think of the situations in our
routine life that disturb our stable state of mind? Let’s not look into the society.
Let’s look into our own life, our family, our work place. Who could be
responsible for our disturbed state of mind? Who must be blamed?
Most of these situations revolve
around either expectations or attachments. When you say that your mind gets
disturbed because your children do not obey you; you mean that you expect
something from them and as you do not get what you expect; your mind gets
disturbed
Let us understand this…. “My mind gets
disturbed”…but…how?
We start getting negative thoughts…
· why is this like this…
· why not in that way…
· what happens if this continues…
· my life is hell…
· I should not have done that…
These thoughts further pave way to
anger, frustration, anxiety, fear and pessimism.
The person who hasn’t obeyed us is
fine…but we are disturbed…our own thoughts make us hopeless and are depleting
and draining away our physical and mental energy.
Why is this happening? What is the
base and cause of this?
It happens when your definition of
right and wrong does not match with others’ definition of right and wrong.
We have already learnt that people
have different perspectives…. If we accept that we also accept the fact that
people have their own definitions of right and wrong. If we accept this, we do
not expect anything from others; consequently our mind does not get disturbed.
On the flip side, if we do not accept this, we expect people acting according
to us and when they do not, the stability of our mind gets disturbed.
Now we understand that most of us are
simply aware of the fact that others have different perspectives and their own
definitions of right and wrong. We do not tend to accept them. If we accept,
that’s the end of all troubles….no arguments….no disappointments….no
conflicts…no crimes…
(Beautifully explained by sister Shivani.)