Re-design your Mindset
by Thota
Srinivas
Our mindset has been moulded by the
people around us, the situations we came across and the experiences we had. Our
mindset or attitude gives rise to thoughts which pave way to actions which lead
us to consequences either good or bad.
Everybody looks forward to good outcomes but
the fact is the right mindset we have lets us have right outcomes and vice
versa. In order to have a better living it becomes essential to have a right mindset
and to acquire this we have to re-design our mindset.
The question here is…. Can we RE-PROGRAMME
OUR MINDSET? Is it possible? It’s a bit difficult but not impossible. Owing to
the fact that we grew up with an influenced mindset all these years, changing
it all of a sudden is a bit difficult.
But if we are determined, we can. If we
do not want to put ourselves into troubles, we can. If we do not want to lose
our happiness, WE CAN.
Let us see a situation and try to
apply our normal thinking into that….
Everyone adores, respects and worship
the Almighty, the God…and if someone says ,” I do not like God. I hate him.” What goes on in our mind?
Questions start cropping up in our
mind ,”Why…Why not?…How strange!….He is bad.. How can he hate God?”
These questions indicate that our
stable state of mind got disturbed not because someone said he hates God but
because we couldn’t accept the fact that someone can have a perspective
different from that of ours. People can have their own definition of right and
wrong. They have their own
experiences…which moulded their thinking and actions.
This is what happens……
Why do you think this is happening…?
Because sometimes or most of the times
for that matter, we feel that certain things are so strongly right that we are
of the opinion that there cannot be a second option or perspective to that.
How do we react in a situation when we
do not agree with someone’s perspective? We say…’YOU ARE WRONG!’. When you say that, you are giving a negative
energy to the other person. It amounts to disrespect. Arguments start and
conflict arises thereby breaking the relationship.
This is how we make things difficult
not for others but to ourselves…….And the other person who challenges our
opinion can be our child or our spouse or our boss. Now imagine how just a
realization that others could also be right is affecting our relationships.
When we say that the other person is
wrong…we are attempting to correct that person. Our intention is right but the
way we say it is wrong in most of the cases.
Just imagine a disagreement starts
between a husband and a wife over a cup of tea. The wife says, ‘You are wrong!’
; the intention of the wife is to correct her husband’s opinion. But what do
you expect the husband say? He too says, ‘You are wrong!’ Now, someone has to
agree with someone at some point of time else the drizzle of quarrel grows on
to become a bitter cyclone.
So what do you see happening here….the
people are losing their emotions…why does it happen?
It happens because we are shocked by
others’ opinion which is different from that of ours - why are we shocked? Because
we cannot accept the fact that others’ opinion can be different from ours.
And we are very cunning. We do not
argue with everyone. We have programmed our mind in that way. We tend to argue
with someone we want to have a control over or someone we feel that we can
exercise our control over.
In the process of correcting others,
we either lose our peace of mind or let them lose theirs or lose our
relationships. But it doesn’t mean that we have to stop correcting the mistakes
of others even after knowing that their mistakes can land us or them or others
in problems. We must put an honest and sincere effort in doing so provided we
do not make them feel worse about themselves in the process of correcting them.
It’s a human tendency to defend
oneself vehemently when someone out rightly says that one is wrong. Nobody
wants to be pointed out especially in a way which makes them feel disgusted
about themselves. This is natural owing to the fact that human is a concoction
of emotions and qualities. What we can do instead is to make them disagree with
their own perspective than contradicting with others.
Letting them consider and reconsider their
perspective that is making them behave so can genuinely pave way to a change in
their mindset. As a matter of fact, if we want to save our relationships, what
we need to do is to first change our mindset and then strive to change the
mindset of our near and dear ones without attempting to correct their actions.
A changed act might not change one’s
personality but a changed mindset can change one’s persona, one’s life and
probably lives of others as well.
by Thota Srinivas